news release and critique

https://www.24-7pressrelease.com/press-release/burbank-dentist-offering-advanced-single-visit-crowns-262599.php

Choose a news release that you feel is poorly written or does not follow the guidelines and format as outlined in chapter 7.1. What type of release is this?2. What do you believe is ineffective about this release?
You will then re-write the release 

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